Lost Draft

I found this draft in my blogs.
This was never published, maybe because it was never finished.
But I'm going to go ahead and publish it now anyways.

(REMINDER: This was composed at the beginning of SUMMER 2012)

I'm not sure of how to feel.
I'm not sure of how to think.
And honestly I'm at a complete stop.

Summer 2012 has begun.

At first it was overwhelming. Then things begun to sink in. I got comfortable. At this moment I'm speaking of my relationship with Jonathan Andrew Leroy Stewart, not summer. At first I wasn't sure if being committed was the right step to take at this point of my life. The past few months were rough. I couldn't set my heart up for disaster and heartache. I was just about to graduate and I knew that college was coming up. The thoughts of being in a relationship the summer before I leave to college concerned me. But I thought to myself and 'YOLOed' it. An opportunity was placed in front of me. I gave it a little thought and took a chance with love.

And that being said, I'm not going to lie and say we are the perfect couple, experiencing every perfect moment together. We have our ups and downs and we fight through them, side by side, hand in hand. He annoys the shit out of me. I sometimes want to push him out of a moving train. But it's okay. He's a nice guy sometimes. I mean yeah. Hahah okay, I'm just kidding. But really. What can I say to describe our relationship? He's a typical male. You know, can't eat without spilling things on his shirt, burps and farts, everything's basically a joke, and competes with anyone about everything. Yeah, a typical guy. But he sometimes has that cute boyfriend persona. He kisses me passionately. And holds me tight when I'm cold. And keeps me safe.

College

The run-down of my college experience so far.

I’m about a month into my first semester of college. And I can honestly say it’s pretty much what I expected it to be. Move-In Day was a great day. I was a first year on campus. I had that free, open-minded spirit flowing around me. I went to the pavilion, grabbed my room key, and then the nervousness hit me.

 I was hoping my roommate would be decent.  I mean who wants to be stuck with that creeper psycho, hover-over-you-when-you-sleep kind of roommate? No one does, unless you’re creepier than that creepy roommate. But anyways, I walked into the room and to my surprise she was a nice girl. Jessica is her name, a girl from a little town outside Mansfield, OH. Taller than I, she was a brunette. She played sports in high school before and gets decent grades. So she was nothing to be scared of. We got all our stuff settled in, hung out with our parents before they left and did all that first day stuff. When it got late we were out. There was nothing to it. We woke up the next day and to our surprise nothing. We didn’t feel weird at all. There was no uneasiness to it. That’s the day we knew we were going to be comfortable around each other.

Classes were in session August 27^th. Man, oh man. I’m glad I have Taylor. If it wasn’t for her I seriously may have not made it on my first day. Knowing no one is a horrible feeling. All the freshmen are thinking the same thing, ‘I don’t have friends. I need friends,’ yet not a single person came out and asked if anyone wanted to be friends. Honestly that was the most awkward feeling I’ve had in college so far. That’s beside the point. Back to talking about classes, the first week wasn’t horrible. I was printing off notes, organizing my binders, reading chapters, highlighting, and buying extra supplies. Man, oh man. As days went by, my notes got less accomplished, my reading was behind and then all of a sudden, I had no motivation to get any of it done other than that I was paying thousands and thousands of dollars to go here. I’ve made friends with the girls in my Learning Community, attended SI (supplement learning), and I’ve even scheduled a one on one tutoring session for my Anatomy & Physiology class tomorrow with Andrew T. Things I would have never thought to do in high school. I mean, who honestly studies in high school? I didn’t. 

To recap a little about what’s going on, I have my first practical and exam this Thursday, It’s my first weekend here, Greek Formal Recruitment is coming up, and a bunch of other shenanigans will be going on here soon.

I’m just going to tell you high school kids that college isn’t anything you want to rush into. High school was a blast compared to all this studying and late nights. I mean yeah the weekend is fun for those who like to have a ‘good time’. But the week is rough. Those who got A’s and B’s without studying. Just simply be aware that you’re going to go from those grades without studying to having to study at least  4-5 hours a day and still only receiving B’s and high C’s.  Frankly, I wish I could have just stayed in high school and took those classes for years than take these hard classes.